It was 12:30 p.m. when all hell broke loose. President Greg stormed the podium like it was the front door of the Stonehouse Bar, cuffing the Rotary Bell a good one along the way. His eyes beamed, immutable obelisks of justice, as he scanned the room hungrily for a hint of Capone or any of his Purple minions. All he could see, though, was a roomful of talkers at tables, and a sweet-looking lady at the piano (named Joanie, he’d find out later), playing way too well for this to be just another lunch at a dive hangout. Sweet Lady smiled at him over her piano. A waitress came up and offered him a coffee and something called a ‘wrap,’ which looked more like a rolled newspaper exuding lettuce and a trace of Jarlsberg. He started feeling like everything was all right, when he noticed the skinny fingers of the Wally Cox-looking bouncer by the wall. He was nervous, Greg could tell, and kept rolling his wet hammock eyes to the floor, staring at the butts and a dime, which he didn’t pick up. A spring — a flash, really — in the corner of his eye, and he saw the sweet lady flip open the top of her upright and whip out a Tommy (or was it a Pierson-Diederich?); a real Chicago Typewriter. Boy, did they sing, the piano player and the Pierson! Greg hit the floor, returning fire with the tired old wrap and a few ice cubes. Was he hit? He couldn’t tell. All he could hear was…singing. Was it really “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”? “No sh**,” he thought, as he rammed more lettuce ammo into the wrap. Then —

“Mr. Hoffman? Hi, I’m Marcie, your night nurse. It’s time for your meds.”

TWO DAYS LATER. Okay, now that I’m back home, in the bosom of my loving family’s watchful eyes, wearing an anklet for the first time in my life (or is it just a round Panera buzzer?), I’m ready to finish these Notes the right way.

Doug Gross came up and delivered a terrific Inspiration, centered on — “The Future, I’d like you to think about it with a few quotes from Elon Musk: 1) ‘There have to be reasons that you get up in the morning and you want to live. Why do you want to live? What’s the point? — What inspires you? What do you love about the future?’ And as only Elon Musk would say: ‘If the future does not include being out there among the stars and being a multi-planet species, I find that incredibly depressing.'” Doug then highlighted Musk’s perspective on history: 2) “‘…If you go back a few hundred years, what we take for granted today would seem like magic…'” Then, the crux of his thinking about achievement and the future: “‘Persistence is very important. You should not give up unless you are forced to give up. I think it is possible for ordinary people to choose to be extraordinary…We’re going to make it happen. As God is my witness, I’m hell-bent on making it work.'”

Harkening back to the music, Greg remarked in his inimitable deadpan: “Polar bears are good in the winter, but they’re also not very smart.” After greeting everyone, and when the visiting Rotarians and guests had been introduced (an impressive crop this week, by the way), Greg made an important announcement: “Happy hour today will be at Carson’s, on Plymouth Road, from 5:00-7:00 p.m.” He then read a letter from a Native American Rotary club thanking RCAA for its support. Next up was Shelley MacMillan, representing the Social Committee, with another important announcement. “Tomorrow, as you know, is Rotary Night for Wine, Women and Song. The refreshments are at 7:30 [Note: All this to-do about happy hours and refreshments warms your reporter’s heart. It’s like the ‘coffee social’ after an Episcopal service.], so please come.”

A SPECIAL NOTE: Wine, Women and Song has taken place. The Rotary Night preview is now a part of Tree Town’s musical history. It will not be forgotten, however. Those of us who enshrined last year’s performance in our collective heart were, perhaps, surprised to recognize in Thursday’s event a new standard, an apotheosis of talent and song. Is this the New England Patriots in music? One asks “How long can this go on?” But the cognoscenti know that, like Belichick-Brady, the collaboration of Relyea, MacMillan, Diederich, and a host of other superb actor-singers can be expected to continue into the future. (And the piano of Tyler Driskill was truly magnificent.) As the young Scrooge’s fellow apprentice declares, “It was a night never to be forgotten!”

The assembly needed the aforementioned announcements and general lightheartedness, for what happened next was just plain no holds barred emotional. Past President Karen Kerry and husband Brad gave a moving tribute to Dr. Gloria Kerry — mother, mother-in-law, wife, grandmother, and friend to every soul in the room. Brad and Karen’s frankly wonderful marriage was evident to all in the way they tag-teamed their reminiscences. “Her smile preordained to her a career in dentistry,” Karen began. Instantly, no doubt, a hundred mental pictures of Gloria beaming that superlative smile circled the ballroom. “She adored her patients, and saw them up through Christmas. She was a [true] first: the first woman to in her class to become a dentist. When her professor asked her if she actually intended to practice dentistry — or just pursue a MRS degree — naive as she was, she said ‘I don’t know if I can take on a master’s right now.’ Years later she attended his retirement party, and told him she was still practicing. Then she met the Boy from Flint! In 1988 she became the first woman to enter the Club. She told me once that, no matter how busy I was, to accept being president if they ask you — because they may never ask you again!” Perhaps an indication that Gloria was the first woman member to be so approached? At this point Karen handed the reigns over to Brad as the wellspring was reaching flood stage, but she concluded with a declaration: “She loved all of you! The size of her smile was matched only by the size of her heart.”

Brad gave a moving tribute by recalling his mother-in-law’s “warmth, respect, care, and compassion…that explained why so many of us called her ‘Granny.’ She was just, grandmotherly.” Then, a special story: “One day…sitting in her kitchen, discussing some topic with Granny, Bob and some of their close friends, I said ‘Granny, look, pool maintenance is simple.’ At this point, her friend interrupted me abruptly and said ‘You can’t call her Granny.’ Honestly, I was a bit taken aback. I’m thinking, ‘Oh my, what do I say now?’ I didn’t really know what to do. So, I asked ‘What should I call her?’ And she said…very emphatically, ‘Dr. Granny.'” Gloria even out-maximed Teddy Roosevelt. Instead of “Speak softly and carry a big stick, in her case it was modified: ‘Drop your stick and forge ahead with kindness; you will go farther.'”

Karen and Brad invited everyone to attend Gloria’s memorial service on Saturday at 2:00 p.m., at First Presbyterian. AND IT WAS MAGNIFICENT — TRULY ‘GLORIOUS.’ AS WAS THE CELEBRATION OF LIFE PARTY AFTERWARDS AT BOB AND GLORIA’S HOUSE. Thank you Bob, Karen, Brad, and your whole family. What an honor to have known Gloria!

Paul Smith then gave a fascinating presentation about U-M students designing and manufacturing “affordable eyeglasses with 3-D printers for people in Jamaica.” He showed a video produced by the ophthalmology students. The glasses cost about $5 for an attractive, durable model. Now, this is making a difference! Bravo!

Speaker: Dennis Powers gave a fabulous introduction to our speaker, Dr. Heui Peng, who has headed Mcity, the University of Michigan’s acclaimed study facility for the development of self-driving cars. “A year or so ago, Bob Lutz, the retired Vice-Chairman for Product Development at GM…prophesied to us that self-driving autonomous vehicles would become the sole means of automotive transportation within 10 years. Signs that his observation was prescient are beginning to emerge.” Dennis cited the Lyft prototype’s debut in Las Vegas last year, and that “food delivery is not far behind,” before highlighting a Ford-Walmart study examining the public’s reception to driverless vehicles delivering food to their homes…Our speaker will bring us up to date [on Mcity’s driverless shuttle]. Huei Peng is the Robert L. McCarthy Professor of Mechanical Engineering at the University of Michigan. He received his Ph.D in 1992 from the University of California, Berkley. He became Director of Mcity…in 2016.”

“I’m going to talk mostly about automated cars, which is the correct term,” Dr. Peng began. He showed a chart illustrating the gradual adoption of robotic assistance to human drivers over the next several years. “Today, human control is 100%, but robots will be helping humans more and more.” One reason is the escalating number of driving related deaths in the U.S. “Fatalities are rising because of social media and the internet. You’ve seen them; drivers are looking down.” Indeed, a second chart showed the rise, after years of decline. “By 2021 automated cars will be in America — and they’ll be 100% in Europe,” Peng declared.

One myth Dr. Peng exploded was that automated doesn’t equal autonomous. “That’s not going to happen for a long time.” Instead, car development will progress through degrees, from 1-5. Levels 1 and 2 are where most automated cars are today in terms of development. “Mercedes says they have a Level 3, but it’s really a 2.5.” The hurdles, Dr. Peng explained, are many and immense. Mcity is currently testing the cars’ ability just to differentiate the myriad shapes and obstacles that can suddenly appear on our roads. It’s an arduous task. “You remember the Uber crash in 2017…and the Tesla Model X crash. They were programming issues. One example of this engineering evolution is figuring out “how many miles do we have to test to make automated cars that match and exceed the competence of a human driver. It’s 11 billion miles [of testing]. This is what engineers do — identify problems, then look for the solution.”

Shuttles are running already. A French firm makes them, and they can be found in Australia, Switzerland, and Dubai. Ann Arbor, as everyone knows, has an Mcity prototype running on North Campus. “They’re not cheap — about $300,000 [the French model], and they need a control person, as a last line of defense.” Also, regarding increasing use of automated cars in the near future, Peng predicts “motion sickness will be a problem that has to be addressed, as people will be passengers.” Greg thanked our speaker warmly, who was given an enthusiastic ovation.

Perhaps one thought going round the room, apart from the fascinating progress being made in the scientific-technological development of automated vehicles, was the question of how many people will be killed and injured before the bright light of Level 5 is reached. Maybe the question will prove moot, as we humans become more and more accustomed to having our lives, our purchasing preferences, our DNA, sliced and diced, sold, commoditized. After all, millions have died since the first millionaire motorist struck the first farmer on a dirt road. One thing about progress — we’re all along for the ride; and unpaid guinea pigs at that.