The “Three Rs” of education are well known but I am suggesting we consider another “Three Rs” in the invitations to our events and activities. They are RSVPs, Reservations Required and Regrets Only.I am not an ardent follower of Miss Manners or Emily Post but my mother was always keen on the differences between the three as part of her planning for meetings, dinners, parties, and soirees. Here’s what I recall:
“RSVP is the abbreviation of the French phrase, “répondez s’il vous plaît.” It means the host needs to hear from the addressee one way or the other. This type of message is typically used for weddings or other formal events when there is a defined guest list and it is critical to know exactly how many places to set and/or meals to order. Addressees can expect to be contacted if they don’t respond in a timely manner. Note: Since “please (in French)” is part of RSVP, saying “Please RSVP” is redundant.
“Reservations Required” is the term to use when the host wants to know how many to expect and will make arrangements for all those who ask to be included (unless some limits and/or deadlines are specified in the announcement). Persons who don’t respond should not expect to be accommodated. I see us using RSVP for our in person luncheons when “please make your reservation” would be more à propos (to keep the French theme going).
“Regrets Only” can be added to the invitation when the addressees are expected to attend. This is the appropriate term to use for events where a quorum is necessary, the invitees are to make a contribution to the proceedings, or if there is a need to know how many fewer places to set. I suggest this is the way to go with our club’s committee meetings but only for those who are truly members of the committee. Those addressees who are ex officio or just on the cc list are exempt but should respond if they are planning to attend to help the host prepare.
Overall, I hope this explanation will help use the right terms in the invitations for our events and activities. Thanks for your consideration. My mother would be proud. 🙂
By John White
